MOLESTATION AGAINST MEN- "I am A MAN AND IS SEXUALLY ABUSED TOO"

Name the extreme disgust feeling in you? Which news fills you with wrath? Which act forces you to snuff out the day it happened? Do you remember, the words, your parents often tell you about these incidents happening everywhere? How ruthless are the people who do it? How to shield yourself in these situations? Which thoughts disturb you a lot? Which scenes horrifies you to a level that is, far above a phantom scene? What is their mindset when they do it? Which negative energy, forces them to take such abominable steps, which can convert life to hell or a living soul to die? Are you a female or a male? If you are a female, you might have experienced these situations at some point in your life. But do we think such incidents happening with men? If you feel that men are the safest, you are amiss. Now, everything is gender-neutral, is it?

MY BODY IS SCREAMING, I CAN HEAR ITS INTENSITY.

THAT STRIDENT VOICE

GET AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE STAY AWAY

THOSE EVIL EYES, DISGUST WORDS &STUMPING MOVEMENTS

I CAN’T FORGET

SOME HANDS RUN OVER MY BODY, MAKING ME INSECURE

I AM FLOUNDERING AT THE FEAR OF LOSING MY LIFE

THAT TOUCH I THINK OF, I PUKE

THAT INTERMINABLE BATTLE I FOUGHT TO GUARD MYSELF

PEOPLE THINK I AM POTENT, STOUT-HEARTED AND A WARRIOR

THEY NEED TO KNOW

I AM NOT ONLY A BOY, BUT A HUMAN BEING TOO

WHAT IS MOLESTATION?

Molestation is sexual abuse by a person with another person, who can be of any age, gender, race, etc. It’s a forceful and brutal act of harassing someone, not only physically but mentally too. It’s an undignified behavior of one person with another, leaving a deep impact on the person’s life. It’s a word no one ever wants to listen to, a moment no one ever wants to experience. Its meaning scares me. When you and I hear an incident of molestation happening with anyone, it leaves us crying. For some people it’s a way of showing their strength, dominance over others, a way to take revenge and get relieved of their frustration, agony, and a path to attain their self-respect, they think is lost. For some, it’s entertaining to play with other’s life for sake of ruining their identity and soul.

IS IT GENDER-NEUTRAL?

Yes, it doesn’t have eyes on gender. We all focus on molestation against women, but do we even know that men are molested too? I guess many of us don’t. 1 out of every 6 men faces sexual abuse. In the US in 2018, 43% of men faced sexual harassment, in which most were college boys (18-24) years and in the age group 11-17 years old too. In India too, this issue is worse than our expectations, in Kerala in 2019, 693 boys were sexually harassed of which 25% were aged 10-12 years and the rest were of 13-17 years. It’s more in pre-adolescent age. This is exacerbating daily. Recently, 2 boys gangraped 14 year old boy in Pakistan after luring him of kites. You might have heard of EIJAZ KHAN who discussed his molestation case happened at a very young age, or a boy molested by his relative, etc. It’s difficult to find such cases because men never disclose them. So, Sexual abuse survivors are not only women but men too.

WHAT MAKES THIS PROBLEM DIFFERENT FROM WOMEN’s?

Women are always told about such issues, how to deal with them because they are more prone to such incidents. But boys are never told about such issues because we feel they are strong, fearless, and of course- ‘MARD KO DARD NAHI HOTA’. So, they don’t know how to deal with such acts. They are always taught to protect and respect girls but no one teaches women to not molest a man or to always respect them. Like, women, men also feel traumatized after such issues, they also face many disorders, they also start hating people touch, become more firm, arrogant and strong. They also start losing trust in people, become introvert and often get scared when someone tries to touch them normally too. Also, many start hating their parents who didn’t support them in such situations, etc. But still, what makes their situation far severe than women's?

• It's people's mentality of treating a sexually abused man like ‘NA MARD’. They start losing confidence in a man’s masculinity.

• Their perceptions about men like, they are furious, courageous, full of strength, can fight and resist easily makes a man conscious to disclose his feelings, incident, which, further makes it difficult to seek therapies or any sort of help.

• People will not feel pity for them like they do for girls but will start questioning their power.

• They can find it difficult to get jobs in the future.

We ignore their feelings that’s why they start ignoring them.

HOW DOES LAW HELP THEM?

There is little help given by law to safeguard molestation against men, like-

1. RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) is an anti-sexual violence organization that operates with many local sexual assault services to protect sexually harassed people. It has partnered with 1in6 to offer a 24/7 helpline for men. It’s an American company.

2. You can visit their site at online.rainn.org.

3. 1in6 is also an organization that helps sexually abused males to live healthier and happy life.

4. In India, Section-377 of INDIAN PENAL CODE talks about ‘sodomy’. In 2018, law gave LGBTQ groups their right and abolished this law, but it remains in force against molestation to non-consensual sexual acts and gives life imprisonment or imprisonment for more than 10 years, and is liable for fine also.

5. Also, there is the POCSO act to protect children from sexual assault and pornography, etc.

Many more should be done by law to safeguard men.

#” JUSTICE SHOULD BE GENDER-NEUTRAL”

So, it is no longer true that men do not feel pain. No, they do and we should understand them. If you find a man sexually abused, make him feel safe, calm him and try to support him so that he can start a new life for him.